Category: Inner Dialogue

Fear Ebbs Flow

Posted on by Marko

Fear, in any form, chokes life. It dulls our senses of curiosity and exploration, curbing risk-taking while prioritizing the familiar, conservative, safe. It makes us dependent on something (or someone) that’s known, giving us a superficial form of psychological safety.

But life is not meant to be a loop, a routine, a well-treaded path, no matter how scenic or comforting it may be. Phobias and fears of things in life are often the result of our mode of being, shaped by limited experience. How we perceive ourselves relative to other people, our surroundings, to the universe, its meaning. Fear prevents us from stepping outside the marked path to make our own. And the more we conform to a pre-treaded path, the stronger the resistance to veering off it – and living. We become static – an impossibility in life that, by its very nature, is dynamic.

This illusion of safety – that we know things, that things don’t change – hardens us into moulds of our familiar environments. And as any other mould whose shape is predetermined, we live and produce monotony. Our life becomes an assembly line of tasks more than a microcosm of creative opportunities. Fear chokes life, it inhibits our authenticity and suppresses creativity. It ebbs our unscripted self expression, and genuine connection to everything.

To live and experience life to its fullest, you must take a risk and step forward. Like a toddler learning how to walk, every step is both scary and exciting because we can fall but also get farther. Embrace fear of the unknown, for it’s a signal that you are living, that you are getting to know more of the universe, and through it, your deeper self.

Karmic Detanglement

Posted on by Marko

Who we are today is the result of our past actions. As much as we want to change overnight sometimes, we can’t. There are too many strings anchoring us to our personal history. Thoughts we’ve thought and acted upon, routines we’ve developed and cemented through repeated steps, identities we’ve built based on our values and ego.

The past cannot be changed but that should not be the reason for us being stuck in it. We, separate from our past, have the capacity to change, as long as we realize it’s a process. To change is to detangle ourselves from our former actions. That means recognizing and owning what we’ve done, no matter how inconvenient, painful, or guilting it may be. By taking responsibility for our former actions, we weaken their power over us, and make space for new ones – new ways of thinking, seeing, and doing things. The accumulated karma of our past dissolves, and along with it the cause that effected our identity.

With time, we build new values that redefine who we are. We change, as we should, as everything in the universe does. Change is a natural process fundamental to our personal refinement.

Superlatives: Inferior Identities

Posted on by Marko

My best friend, my finest work, my greatest belief etc. – grandiose, self-identifying statements with self-pooring effects. When we label something as being of the highest order, we place a limit on our potential, others, and the world, as we perceive them. When we tell ourselves such narratives, we interrupt the ever-unfolding journey of life and feel like we’ve reached a destination. Comfort and security of accomplishment set in, and the spark of life, the curiosity and hunger for the unknown, for exploration and discovery, wanes. In short, we see less and correspondingly get less.

When we use superlatives to describe our relationships, we create attachments to people, activities, and things – not as they are, but as we perceive them to be. When we attach ourselves, we are less likely to try something new. We depend on, and often demand, a standard as prescribed by our superlative. A best friend should do this and that, and if they don’t, something is wrong. A finest work communicates that I can’t do any better. A greatest belief is one that reduces the beautiful relativity of individuality and the universe down to subjective absolutism.

Make and explore connections within your slice of the universe, but don’t make them your roadblocks. No matter how ecstatic and happiness-inducing an experience is, it is still part of a process of highs and lows. In fact, we must have lows to experience and identify highs, but there is no limit on their height, unless you assign it.

Expose Yourself

Posted on by Marko

When we feel shame, we conform. And when we conform, we betray ourselves, our authentic nature, by acting the way others expect us to act. The feeling of shame is a keystone to so many of our insecurities. It holds us back through the fear of being judged by someone else’s standards. Ironically, we think when we submit to conformation, we’ll be liked more, but such appeal is very superficial, lacking substance to create real social bonds.

Feeling ashamed on any level weakens us, suppresses us. It can be the way we look, dress, think, talk, philosophize, laugh, feel, – any authentic expression or idiosyncrasy that represents our essential identity.

Shame is a powerful, primal emotion that separates. By feeling shame, we create distance between us and the people in our lives. Shame makes us less authentic, at best, right down to inauthentic, at worst. When we’re ashamed, we’re more likely to be covert and cautious with our genuine feelings and thoughts about something. We communicate partial truths or override them altogether. The result of all this self-censoring is our inability to form and maintain meaningful and authentic social bonds. If there is no genuine attraction between people, which comes about through freespiritedness of expression, there is also no way to form genuine relationships.

So I say, expose yourself. Be naked and generous in your expression: your opinions, views, creativity, feelings, compassion, giving, and especially loving. It may feel painful at first (for it is practiced by few), but it is also empowering, both to self, and to your relationships.

Don’t follow others, inspire them by being unapologetically you.

Art Class

Posted on by Marko

Art is a medium of self expression. When you commercialize it, you poor the society of its spirit, of its potentially transformative nature, of its gift. When art becomes an investment/asset, fewer people can afford it and gain access to it. And those that do, consume it for the status, not the original creative expression, commentary, or intent.

Free-flowing art pollinates the world with ideas and ideals, perspectives and potentials. It evolves and ushers equitable progress, for most art is born from present struggles, personal and societal. Art, when received as a gift, liberates; art, when commoditized and accumulated; splinters and separates. In other words, art can be steered toward its quality or quantity, and when you focus on its quantity, when you commercialize it, you become a vehicle of classism, of divisions, of have and have nots.

Idolatry of Seriousness

Posted on by Marko

Nothing matters, and everything matters. Taking things too seriously is another form of idolatry – it narrows your life down to their scope, which gives them control over you. This can be anything from a person to an activity to an objective or an object. Having these idols of seriousness strips your life and personality of spark, and stimulates fervent craving, frustration and impatience. The infinite totality of your surroundings and inner potential is reduced to a few markers you worship as being absolute truths or boundaries. You live to feel safe, not to enjoy life. Ironically, too much seriousness produces fear, dependence, and emotional volatility. It spans the same spectrum as dogmatic religion – you are easily offended, and in return, are liberal with your offenses to defend those things you deem too serious, too holy, even if you don’t label them as such.

What liberates and enlightens is this moment, any moment, as long as you are present within it. It is everything because it is real, it is your life at present. This synchronicity of reality and awareness matters, because it aligns you with life as it unfolds. When you are aligned, you make more informed decisions, because they come from within (moment’s grace), not without (idols of seriousness). One way to cultivate the moment is to balance thinking with feeling, and then sprinkle it with playfulness. Overthinking produces projections, and with them, expectations and disappointments. It also encourages rigid, scripted behaviour, which gives few rewards in life beyond ticking check-boxes of acceptable behaviour and feeling safe. Life demands spark to keep on evolving: the unexpected, the spontaneous, the playful. These are the catalysts that motivate and move us forward – they express our inner potential, and help us evolve.

Ultimately, most situations we deem serious are reminders that we are trapped, that we have gripped certain elements in our life too tightly, and can’t let go. We can feel this intuitively and directly. It is a feeling of anxiety, as if something is gnawing at our heart, trying to reduce or contain it. This awareness alone is enough to loosen the grip, because you can pinpoint its source. To disarm it, try doing something unexpected, or adding some humour to the situation. The effect may not be instant, but it’ll give you the space to move forward.

Strength

Posted on by Marko

Strength is expressing your feelings, not burying them.
Strength is acknowledging hurt, not deflecting or hurting back.
Strength is empathy, not possession.
Strength is gentleness, not aggression.
Strength is encouragement, not intimidation.
Strength is sharing privilege, not accumulating it.
Strength is authenticity, not validation.
Strength is vulnerability, not status.
Strength comes from your heart, not your muscle.

Lens of Reality

Posted on by Marko

Belief is the most powerful force in our lives, because it shapes our reality. It influences how we see the world, others, ourselves. We give our independance and authority to someone else because we believe they know better. We let religions, corporations, and governments indocternate us with their interests because we believe they mean to do well for us. Belief is so profoundly immersive that we rarely register when these “well-intended” iterests become crusades, exploitation, and nationalism. The abnormal become the norm because we let them, because we believe in the potential of an authority’s planted seed. And when it sprouts, it entangles us, intoxicates us, and assimilates us. A new, poorer reality, one painted by dependence and insecurity, is born, and we live it. We become trapped in it.

Guard your beliefs and you will preserve authority over your own life. Make symbiotic connections with others but don’t let their labels, titles, or charisma influence who you become. Authenticity empowers us, and societies, by bringing an individual out of a number. By embracing uniqueness over conformation, we embrace inventiveness, empathy, and stronger bonds between each other and the planet.

Shift your beliefs and you will shift your reality. Shift your beliefs and you will lift your self-imposed limitations.

Humorous Permission

Posted on by Marko

We seem to be most authentic when wrapping information we wish to communicate in humour. It can be a thought-out joke, or a haha or an emoji appended to an end of a pseudo-serious sentence, but ultimately there is some sort of truth or genuine feeling being communicated. Humour gives us permission to be honest and vulnerable, because it incorporates an insurance policy. If the information wrapped in a joke becomes too serious or offensive, we can always claim we were trying to be funny.

Keys to Life

Posted on by Marko

There have been many times where I’ve achieved much but still felt unfulfilled. The objective was reached, but the journey of pursuing that objective stopped. After several deeper, vulnerable conversations with my heart, I’ve realized that the process of living is like life – it needs to evolve. To unlock and sustain that evolution – the life itself – living needs new gates opened. New pastures to explore, graze, grow upon, play in, and add to. Three such gate keys are:

  1. Insistence on continually challenging and breaking established and forming habits
  2. Protecting the present moment by defending it from rumination (being possessed by memories) and excessive sentimentality
  3. Backing up thought with action (manifesting life)

Further reflection led to the realization that the gates these three keys unlock are interconnected, like gears of some life-stopping mechanism. They each remove the living aspect of life, making it static (less alive). Through practice, I’ve discovered that you don’t have to unlock all three simultaneously to enjoy a more fulfilling life. If you unlock any one of them, the other two are less effective at confining you, making the total escape easier and self-fulfilling.