At any moment, we have the choice of being or thinking, taking life in or trying to understand it. We instinctively strive to strike a balance between the two, but social pressures, overachievement, attachment, and deep-seeded insecurities often pin us to the thinking side of things. We overthink, therefore, we cannot be. When we think, we don’t act. We don’t show our colours. We are absent because we are in our minds, interpreting, projecting, estimating. Our awareness retreats, and with it our animation and idiosyncrasies. When we think, our personalities are closer to that of a computer than a sentient life-form. A mostly-thinker, no matter how academically brilliant, often has little charisma, a product of their reserved, withdrawn personality. They have little presence, and offer few draws for others to get to know them.

Of course, thinking is essential to one’s survival and understanding of the world. It’s the first thing we learn, but I’d like to argue it’s a predominant thing we are taught throughout our lives in this so-called modern society. An intellectual world is not a lived world, but a projected one. We think, therefore we are, but what we are is not who we are.

Thinking needs the right input for a truthful output, and that input comes through being – experiencing without labeling, engaging without expecting, listening without projecting. In short, not pre-thinking. When raw materials of life enter us as they are, we feel stimulated by their newness, and consequently, our curiosity. We process them through our unique, natural lens. We interpret the universe as it expresses itself through us, not the way we are expected to see it. And because we add a fresh perspective to our society, we stand out, in the most natural, un-egotistical way possible. The way everyone, in their unique way, has a potential of standing out. This is the charisma that inspires motivation, not envy, attraction, not attachment. It is also the essential ingredient to any truthful, selfless relationship.