Tag: self-respect

Time Heals (and Erodes)

Posted on by Marko

Most of us are familiar with the axiom time heals – but I’d like to add that time erodes as well. Like most things in this universe, there are 2 poles to time, a constructive one and a deconstructive opposite. Passage of time gives us the capacity to heal our wounds, physical and psychological. Our body stitches itself according to its DNA instructions, while our mind creates new neural connections by processing and learning from challenges that initially bruised it.

But what of time erosion? Every so often, as our lives flow, we get a certain primal sensation to pay attention. A call to life-action, so to speak: intuitive feelings, wholesome desires, sudden clarities – things that freely upwell from within. During these brief moments, we feel we are one with the universe. We truly understand without needing to put thoughts into words. These transformative opportunities tend to be loud at first, but their call quickly silences if they are not acted upon. Their silence keeps us static and routine-driven, limiting the scope of our life and its possibilities. And when attachment to routine or familiar defines our normal, we stop exploring and start obsessing, walking the same exact steps day in and day out.

If you feel compelled to do something, do it now. Don’t put it off until some imaginary future date or circumstance. Future does not exist, no matter how certain it may seem in our minds. The more we put things off, the more time we waste – the only resource in this universe that is truly non-renewable. Respecting yourself (and your potential) starts with respecting your time.

Expose Yourself

Posted on by Marko

When we feel shame, we conform. And when we conform, we betray ourselves, our authentic nature, by acting the way others expect us to act. The feeling of shame is a keystone to so many of our insecurities. It holds us back through the fear of being judged by someone else’s standards. Ironically, we think when we submit to conformation, we’ll be liked more, but such appeal is very superficial, lacking substance to create real social bonds.

Feeling ashamed on any level weakens us, suppresses us. It can be the way we look, dress, think, talk, philosophize, laugh, feel, – any authentic expression or idiosyncrasy that represents our essential identity.

Shame is a powerful, primal emotion that separates. By feeling shame, we create distance between us and the people in our lives. Shame makes us less authentic, at best, right down to inauthentic, at worst. When we’re ashamed, we’re more likely to be covert and cautious with our genuine feelings and thoughts about something. We communicate partial truths or override them altogether. The result of all this self-censoring is our inability to form and maintain meaningful and authentic social bonds. If there is no genuine attraction between people, which comes about through freespiritedness of expression, there is also no way to form genuine relationships.

So I say, expose yourself. Be naked and generous in your expression: your opinions, views, creativity, feelings, compassion, giving, and especially loving. It may feel painful at first (for it is practiced by few), but it is also empowering, both to self, and to your relationships.

Don’t follow others, inspire them by being unapologetically you.

Life & Lifestyle

Posted on by Marko

Our lifestyle determines the quality and potential of our life. What you eat is what makes you, and what makes you is how you feel and perceive the world around you. A healthy lifestyle generates benefits beyond good blood test results – it motivates us, fortifying our ability to embrace life deeper, broader, longer.

Drink soda, and our energy levels become erratic, almost bipolar – a quick, anxious high followed by a depressive crash. Eat a fatty burger, and we feel comatose. Imagine what consuming these malnourishing foods long-term does to your body – and personality. The quality of energy that fuels us is what drives (or stalls) us in life.

We feel high on life when we feel motivated and purposeful. Instead of looking for motivation per se outside yourself, look for ways of producing higher quality energy within. That energy is the fuel that animates you and the appearance of the world that surrounds you. The cleaner the energy, the more you can be present, attentive, and in touch with what you are and want in life. Eating nutrient-rich, unprocessed foods, and staying physically active are essential ingredients to life. They are fundamental precursors to your physical, mental, and spiritual wellbeing.

Respecting yourself starts with respecting your body, your vessel in this physical existence. I disagree with philosophies of mind over body or spirit over body – those statements may sound grandiose and bold, but are ultimately short-lived because your mind and spirit cannot exist in this dimension without its physical counterpart. And a healthy physical counterpart at that. I prefer the approach of mind/spirit with body. A partnership of equal weight.

To me, staying fit is fundamental. I don’t obsess over it nor do I see it as work. It is a lifestyle choice, one which furthers my potential and ability to do more in life. To hike farther, to make love longer, to lend a helping hand more often, to be confident in who I am and what I can do. In short, to do and try.

Like many people, I’ve often asked myself what makes a good life. The best answer I can come up with at this moment is that a life well lived is a life well journeyed.